Autobiography Week 6: Written is Easier

Although I do make language negotiations on a daily basis, I find it is much more difficult for me to speak than it is to write. I deal with parents on a weekly basis and do allow some relevances to be discussed with some parents that I never would with others. This depends on my assumptions about the individual and my comfort level with them. Living in a small city means that you tend to run into people all the time outside of work. This can be a good thing, but it usually leads to discomfort for me, mostly because I usually communicate with them on a professional basis and my interests outside of work may not coincide with theirs. One thing I have noticed though, is that I tend to be soft spoken until a topic comes up that I am passionate about (and have usually had a few beers). A few weekends ago, some of the parents and kids from my son's T-ball team went out for pizza and I got to know them a little better. One man and his girlfriend were very nice and my boyfriend really thought it might turn out to be a nice couple to hang out with until I opened my mouth. This man prided himself on being racist and very determined that these values coincided with his religion. Ok, so these two topics are very important to me and I began to question his views on the differences and similarities between races. I stopped him at the old Thomas Jefferson theory that black people are a form of ape or orangutan and are not the same as white people. I asked him if he knew that we all originally came from Africa because it is where the oldest surviving homoerectus fossil was found and the tone changed after that. Maybe I should have just let him preach on, but instead, I told him that he and I were very different in that I embrace the variety of cultures that surround me, where he rejects all those that are not of a white culture. I could have gone on and on, but I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable so I just finished my beer and brought up something else. I find that I limit my negotiations so as not to upset others because although I am strongly rooted in my personal beliefs, I still feel that everyone is entitled to an opinion, and I guess I don't want to be the one to take that security away from them. I have even been the butt of jokes that I let go, because of professionalism, maturity and other things, but most of my emotions come out in a flurry when I write. It is here that I can find my own audience, and expand on my ideals and problems with society and I am not presently attacked. If people want to attack my writing, that's ok with me, but to attack my comfort zone and overpower my beliefs is not acceptable and I would never do that to someone else.